Before the wedding day, before the banquet, before the tea ceremony, there is Guo Da Li 过大礼. For many Chinese families in Singapore, this is where the marriage is formally acknowledged, not just between two people, but between two families.
This guide explains what Guo Da Li is, what happens during it, what is exchanged, and what you need to know to prepare for it. It is written for couples who want to understand the ceremony they are walking into, not just complete a checklist.
What Is Guo Da Li, 过大礼?
Guo Da Li 过大礼, sometimes called the betrothal ceremony or gift presentation, is a pre-wedding ritual in Chinese tradition in which the groom’s family formally presents gifts to the bride’s family. The purpose is clear: the groom’s family demonstrates their sincerity and their commitment to caring for the bride. The bride’s family accepts the gifts as an acknowledgement of the marriage.
Guo Da Li typically takes place two to four weeks before the customary wedding day, on a date and time agreed upon by both families, often with input from an elder or an auspicious-date consultant. The timing matters as well; arriving outside the agreed window is considered inauspicious.
On the day itself, the groom and a senior female relative accompany the gifts to the bride’s home. Traditionally, this role fell to a matchmaker; in modern practice, it is usually the groom’s mother or a trusted elder aunt. The items are presented in even numbers, an expression of the auspicious principle that good things come in pairs.
After the gifts are received, the bride’s family conducts Hui Li 回礼 (the return of a portion of the gifts) on the same day. This is followed by the presentation of the dowry 嫁妆.
The Guo Da Li Gifts
The full gift set includes items that carry symbolic meaning. What is included varies by dialect group and by what both families agree on beforehand. The list below covers the core items; your families and your auspicious date consultant will confirm exactly what applies to your situation.
The betrothal basket holds all the gifts and is presented by the groom’s family. It typically contains:
Symbolic foods and ingredients These arrive in even numbers and in pairs, each carrying its own meaning. Red dates (红枣) represent fertility and sweetness. Dried longans (龙眼) symbolise good fortune and abundance. Lotus seeds (莲子) bless the couple with many children. Lily bulbs (百合) express a wish for harmonious union – bai nian hao he 百年好合, a hundred years together. Together, these ingredients are known as jin guo 金果 and are prepared in 2 sets each.
Peanut candies are associated with Teochew families; rice candies with Hokkien. Sesame candy, lao ma gor, and banana are common Teochew additions. Hokkien families may include coconuts, charcoal, and black moss (fa cai 发菜). If you are unsure what applies to your dialect group, check with your parents, as this is the kind of detail that family elders will have strong views on.
Canned pig trotters or roast pork A minimum of six cans of pig trotters is customary across most dialect groups, symbolising prosperity. Cantonese families typically present a whole roast pig at the customary wedding ceremony instead.
Liquor Two bottles of hard liquor or wine, typically brandy, to mark the celebratory occasion.
Oranges Eight to twelve oranges, included for good luck and fortune.
Dragon and phoenix candles Two pairs – one pair of dragon candles, one pair of phoenix candles. The dragon candles are kept by the bride’s family; the phoenix candles are returned – known as 收龙还风. Both are then lit by their respective families on the morning of the customary wedding day.
Traditional wedding pastries, xi bing 喜饼 Presented in even numbers, the pastries serve a dual purpose: they are part of the betrothal exchange and are subsequently distributed by the bride’s family to relatives and friends as a way of announcing the wedding. For a detailed guide to xi bing, including types, ordering considerations, and the nuances of how many to order, see our Xi Bing guide.
The bride price, pin jin 聘金 A red packet containing the agreed bride price, presented by the groom’s family. The amount is discussed and agreed upon between both families beforehand. A portion is returned during Hui Li as a gesture of goodwill so that the bride’s family is not seen to be profiting from the marriage.
Betrothal jewellery For Teochew families, this is Si Dian Jin 四点金, which means four pieces of gold jewellery, including a necklace, bracelet, ring, and earrings, presented to the bride by the groom’s family. Cantonese families typically present Dragon and Phoenix bangles 龙凤镯 instead, or in addition. The jewellery is a significant part of the Guo Da Li exchange and warrants its own preparation. Our Si Dian Jin guide covers what to expect, how to shop, and how to navigate the family conversations around it.
A red banner Hung across the front door of both households to announce the joyous occasion.
Double happiness stickers Applied to betrothal gifts and items throughout both homes as decoration.
Hui Li, 回礼: The Return of Gifts
Hui Li 回礼 is not an afterthought. It is the bride’s family’s formal response to the groom’s generosity, completing the exchange. By returning a portion of the gifts, the bride’s family signals that they are not profiting from the marriage and that the two families enter this union on equal and respectful terms.
As a general practice, roughly half of the Guo Da Li gifts are returned, though the exact proportion is agreed upon between both families. Certain items follow fixed rules: the two bottles of brandy or liquor are replaced with two bottles of orange juice or orange syrup; the pair of dragon candles stays with the bride’s family, while the phoenix candles are returned; a portion of the ping jin red packet is returned to the groom’s family.
Additional Hui Li items common across dialect groups include a gift for the groom. This is typically a watch, belt, or wallet with an ang bao inserted, and Huat Kueh or Fatt Koh 發糕, the steamed prosperity cake. Hokkien families may include sugar cane in the return. A red umbrella is also commonly included.
The Dowry, 嫁妆
On the same day as Guo Da Li, the bride’s family presents the dowry. These are gifts from the bride’s parents to the couple, symbolising their love for their daughter and their blessings for her new life.
The dowry is prepared by the bride’s mother and includes practical items for the couple’s home, each carrying symbolic meaning:
A tea set for the wedding tea ceremony on the groom’s side.
Bedding: pillows, blankets, a comforter, and bedsheets, often tied with red ribbons.
Five-piece descendant pail set: which includes a baby bathtub, wash basin, mug, tray, and potty: a blessing for healthy offspring.
A sewing kit: to be bound together, representing the bride’s ability to care for her husband.
A ruler: for wealth.
A pair of red bedside lamps: symbolising healthy offspring. These are lit and left on through the wedding night.
A dining set: chopsticks, spoons, bowls, and plates in pairs.
A pair of wooden clogs: for smooth advancement in career.
The jewellery given by the bride’s parents to the bride: distinct from the Si Dian Jin given by the groom’s family, is also part of the dowry.
Dowry items are either sent to the couple’s new home in advance of the wedding or brought on the day of Guo Da Li, depending on family practice.
A Note on Dialect Variations
What is described here is a general framework. The specifics on which items are included, what is returned, and what the bride’s family expects vary meaningfully between Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, and Hainanese families. They also vary between individual families within the same dialect group.
The most reliable approach is to include both sets of parents in the same conversation early on. What each family has done at previous weddings usually establishes the baseline expectation. An auspicious date consultant or a senior relative who has coordinated Guo Da Li before can also serve as a useful anchor for families doing this for the first time.
How Modern Couples Approach It
Guo Da Li is flexible in practice. Many couples observe the full ceremony with every element; others simplify, keeping the items that matter most to their families and letting go of the rest. What tends to remain consistent and what both families will generally notice is the spirit of the exchange: that the groom’s family comes with genuine respect, and that the bride’s family receives them warmly.
A few things worth planning for, based on common pressure points:
Start the family conversation early. The items and quantities in Guo Da Li are negotiated between families. Discovering late that expectations differ, such as disagreements on the ping jin amount, on which jewellery to include, and on how many boxes of xi bing to order, creates unnecessary stress. A single conversation a few months before the ceremony saves a great deal of scrambling.
Assign ownership clearly. The groom’s family typically coordinates the basket, but it is worth confirming who is responsible for each component, particularly the xi bing order, the liquor, and the jewellery, so nothing falls through the gaps.
Give both families time to prepare. Hui Li and the dowry require the bride’s family to have their own items ready on the same day. If the Guo Da Li date is confirmed late, the bride’s family may be rushed. Agree on the date as early as possible.
Before You Begin: A Practical Checklist
Guo Da Li has many moving parts, and coordination spans both families. This checklist is a starting point.
Two to three months before Guo Da Li
- Both families have had an initial conversation about expectations – items, quantities, ping jin amount, jewellery
- An auspicious date and time for Guo Da Li has been selected and agreed upon by both sides
- Responsibility for each component of the basket has been assigned clearly on the groom’s side
- The bride’s family has been given enough notice to prepare Hui Li and the dowry
Four to six weeks before
- Xi bing order placed, quantity confirmed with both families
- Betrothal jewellery selected, ordered, or purchased
- Liquor, canned pig trotters, candles, and other basket items were sourced
- Dowry items confirmed and being prepared by the bride’s family
One to two weeks before
- All basket items assembled and checked against the agreed list
- Betrothal basket arranged, even numbers verified throughout
- Both families confirm the day’s schedule and the arrival time of the groom’s party
- Dragon and phoenix candles are set aside separately for the morning of the customary wedding day
Guo Da Li is one of the few moments in the wedding process that brings both families together before the wedding day itself. Getting the practical details right gives that moment the space it deserves.